Sack of Tat

The Very Official Rulebook (Deluxe Chaos Edition)

Welcome, noble players, to the ancient and revered tradition of Sack of Tat - a game forged in the fires of festive boredom, where Secret Santa lost its sparkle and adults demanded something sillier, cheaper, and significantly more questionable.

If you’re reading this, congratulations: you are now a Keeper of the Tat. Use this power unwisely.

SECTION I: The Sacred Laws of Tat

Before you may approach the Sack, you must understand the nature of the offerings.

Each item:

Must be tat.

Not “junk”, not “rubbish”, and certainly not anything useful. Tat is an art form. Tat is a lifestyle. Tat is the plastic snow globe of destiny.

Think: seaside gift shop at 4pm on a Tuesday.

May be purchased anywhere, anytime.

Charity shops, car boot sales, the back of a drawer you forgot existed - tat knows no boundaries.

Must cost no more than £1.

Less is encouraged. Free is heroic.

Must be wrapped.

Badly. Ideally using leftover birthday paper, a Tesco bag, or whatever was closest when you realised you’d forgotten to wrap it.

Must be sacrificed in secret.

On the Day of Tat, each player must discreetly slip their items into the Festive Sack, as though performing a small but meaningful crime.

You may offer as many items as your soul compels.

One? Delightful. Three? Magnificent. Twenty-seven? You are a legend. The Sack welcomes all.

SECTION II: Methods of Tat Retrieval

Once the Sack is full and humming with chaotic energy, you may choose your method of play.

OPTION 1: The Trivia Trials

  • The appointed Quizmaster (preferably someone drunk with power) reads trivia questions found online.

  • Players answer by shouting their own name as a buzzer.

    Yes, this will be loud. Yes, neighbours may worry.

  • Whoever answers correctly earns the right to plunge their hand into the Sack and retrieve a prize of dubious value.

  • They are then frozen - unable to win again until all have rummaged.

  • The Quizmaster is not exempt. They must answer a question from someone else before they too may fumble for fortune.

OPTION 2: The Wheel of Fate

  • Use a random name selector such as wheelofnames.com.

    (Other wheels exist, but this one spins dramatically.)

  • Enter all player names and spin the wheel to determine who shall next descend into the Bag of Destiny.

  • Remove each chosen name from the wheel to prevent repeat dives.

    Unless you enjoy chaos, in which case leave them all in and watch the world burn.

From the point of victim selection to the moment of tat retrieval, all players are duty bound to chant the sacred mantra:

Sack of Tat
Sack of Tat

SECTION III: Duration of Play

The game continues until the Sack is empty, the tat exhausted, and the players spiritually fulfilled (or emotionally confused).

Be warned: once you have played Sack of Tat, you will never shop normally again. Every charity shop becomes a treasure trove. Every 20p ceramic dolphin becomes a calling. Every year becomes Tat Season.